Written by Selima Iwilla Harleston Lust
Clinical Herbalist & Co-Founder, Iwilla Remedy

Published June 14, 2022

1. Prioritizing other people’s needs over your own. This doesn’t mean that you never tend to the needs of your loved ones. It means that you’re honest about your capacity. You make sure you have sufficient energy and resources within yourself before you serve others.
2. Being silent, dishonest, secretive, and passive. It’s most important for you to hear yourself be truthful, express your boundaries, and say what you mean. It takes practice, but the intentions in your head need to be in alignment with the words coming out of your mouth.
3. Lying to yourself about what you really want. You don’t have to compromise or sacrifice your desires. The only force that’s telling you you can’t have what you want is your own doubt and disbelief.
4. Refusing help and guidance. Nobody does anything alone. Nobody. You got yourself here. You need help getting yourself there.
5. Thinking you don’t deserve a better life. There are lots of ways society and family tell us we’re not worthy or can’t have something. Those records can be deeply ingrained in your psyche and expressed in your behaviors, but you are the only one who can take that record off the record player. You were born worthy and your worthiness is unconditional.
6. Begging for change. Begging is the energy of desperation. Desperation is rooted in lack. Lack means unavailable and that’s never true. Solutions and answers abound. We have to pay attention and develop courage to follow the path. With each small step toward the light, you create the change you want to experience in your life.
7. Minding other people’s business. It distracts you from sitting with yourself. Put your head down and focus on yourself. This won’t be forever, just until you feel more stable inside of yourself.
8. Thinking that the problems in your life aren’t interconnected. There is one singular root cause. Introspection helps you find it and there are many modalities that can help you heal it. Pain and suffering were never intended to be your lot in this life.

This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Selima Iwilla Harleston Lust is a clinical herbalist, author, and co-founder of Iwilla Remedy. Her work centers health sovereignty, cultural lineage, and evidence-informed plant medicine.