Written by Selima Iwilla Harleston Lust
Clinical Herbalist & Co-Founder, Iwilla Remedy

Published July 28, 2020

Forgiveness is an integral part of every healing process.

To me, forgiveness is letting go of the need for the wrongdoing to be acknowledged, accounted or apologize for.

Don’t put your life on hold waiting for someone to recognize and make amends for the ways they’ve hurt you (some of it may have been innocent or unintentional anyway).

You can’t thrive in your present or imagine a better tomorrow if you are tethered to the pains of your past.

Make it your mission to free yourself.

The intention to forgive, though, is not enough.

The tool that I used to lean into this work is a prayer borrowed from Doreen Virtue:

I free you and I forgive you. My forgiveness is total and complete. I withhold no forgiveness. I am free and you are free.

But prayer, also, is not enough.

The real work is choosing to have a different reaction when you think about and/or interact with that person again...

To check-in with how you feel when something similar happens again (and it will, until you've forgiven)...

To decide that your joy, your freedom, and your well-being is more important to you than being right or justified in your resentment.

This content is for educational purposes only and is not medical advice.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Selima Iwilla Harleston Lust is a clinical herbalist, author, and co-founder of Iwilla Remedy. Her work centers health sovereignty, cultural lineage, and evidence-informed plant medicine.